How to Be Alone and Not Feel Lonely in Your 20s
By Anna Tsuchimoto | She/Her/Hers | Tri-State/Denver Buddhist Temple
While in college, I have found myself spending much more time alone than I had when I was younger. Walking to class, studying in the library, eating dinner - all things I had previously done with friends or family, but often did alone once I moved away. And I have to admit, it wasn’t easy. I often felt isolated or homesick, but I realized just dwelling in those feelings and not doing anything about it wouldn't make those feelings go away. So over the years I’ve come up with a few things that have helped me feel more comfortable with being alone. Of course each person has their own habits they turn to when they are feeling lonely, but here are are a few in particular that have helped me:
Guided meditations. My favorites are from Headspace!
Taking a break from social media. I found a lot of my loneliness stemmed from comparing my life to how fun and friend-filled others’ lives appeared, and simply not checking Snapchat, Instagram, etc. worked wonders for me.
Writing myself affirmations. The Mantra app allows me to get numerous reminders of them throughout the day.
Exercising! Even taking a walk and getting a few steps in often helps my mood :)
Writing down how I am feeling in a journal
Opening up to others about how I am feeling
Reaching out to old friends
Having a self-care night (snacks, a hot bath, a face mask, the works)
Taking myself out on a date - a nice dinner, a movie, dessert! Think How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Jim Carrey: “6:30, dinner with me. I can’t cancel that again.”
Baking something!
Practice being creative - crocheting, drawing, bullet journaling
This is, of course, not a comprehensive list, but a list that may help you out if you are looking for things to do when you are feeling a bit lonely. Just a few ideas that I hope can make you feel a little less lonely during tough times! A few may feel like common sense, but they can always serve as a good reminder to take care of yourself.
I believe one of the most important skills in life is to be able to be alone and feel comfortable with it. I like how philosopher Michel de Montaigne puts it: “The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” I guess sometimes those old guys say it best.
Feel free to add your go-to activities when you are feeling lonely in the comments on this article’s associated Facebook and Instagram posts!
