A Buddhist Response to Christian Converters
By Michael Yebisu | He/Him/His
Will be attending Oklahoma University for their History PhD program in the fall
May 17, 2020
“In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. This is a helpful pointer for our everyday presence-practice. Can you catch yourself angrily defending your point of view or attacking the other person's? There's the ego.” – Siddhartha Gautama
It has been many years since I attended college as an undergraduate, but one memory that sticks out in my mind is the religious fanatics and pastors yelling at random passerby. I am sure many of you know what I am talking about; you would be walking to class and suddenly hear someone yell, “YOU THERE! WHAT RELIGION ARE YOU? BUDDHIST? THEN THAT MEANS YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HEAVEN, AND YOU WILL SUFFER FOR ALL ETERNITY, AND YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THE LORD JESUS CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART!”
We’ve all experienced it before, especially since we live in a predominantly Christian country. I’m sure you have talked to Christian friends, acquaintances, and even complete strangers about Buddhism, and some have probably even tried to persuade you to their way of thinking. It is a very controversial and uncomfortable subject, and I will try to give you all advice for what to do the next time it happens. Let me begin by telling you all about the last time I had an experience with a Christian who tried to convert me. I was rushing on my way to class since I was late because I had slept in from too much...studying...the night before. Some dude stopped me and asked me about my shirt, strangely enough. I think it was mostly just to stop me, because we soon started talking about religion, and how I was a Buddhist. I talked to him about Buddhism for a little bit, and he would use what I said to show how Christianity was “better.” For example, I said that Buddhists do not really know for sure what happens to us after we die or if there is a God. He told me that he knows he’s going to heaven, and he knows there’s a God, and that he feels it in his heart. I mean, there’s no way for me to prove him wrong on what he feels. I could see that in his view, Christianity gave him the knowledge that God is real, making it superior to Buddhism. He also asked me what we do in service, and I told him that we chant in order to focus more on being in the moment, and for meditation and reflection. He pointed out then that chanting is just for your own personal sake, and that it does not connect you to a higher power like praying does. Again, he was demonstrating how Christianity was better.
At this point, I started feeling uncomfortable, and even a little bit angry. We went on to discuss why I preferred Buddhism to Christianity. I told him that freshman year, I had been involved in a Christian group called Intervarsity, and I found that I still like Buddhism better. However, he argued that I had not “opened my heart” enough to Christianity, and if I had, I would have chosen it over Buddhism. Again, I could not prove him wrong about that. I did learn more about Christianity, but at no point did I really truly believe that God is real and that the only way to heaven is through Jesus. He also asked me what are some things that I don’t like about Christianity. One thing that I said was that I didn’t like the idea of sin, and that I believed the world is not black and white. I personally do not think that our choices and actions are fully bad or fully good; the world is more of a spectrum. However, he then pointed to the Holocaust as an example of a fully bad event, and I did not really know how to respond to that.
“I felt like I had failed in defending my religion”
At that point, I was feeling increasingly frustrated, and I was pretty much done with the conversation. I told the guy that I was late to class (I actually was) and that I needed to leave. After that, I went off to class. You know how after a conversation, you think of all of the stuff you should have said? Yeah, that’s what I was doing instead of paying attention to my professor. But I got an A in that class so whatever. Anyways, the stuff he said actually really bothered me because I couldn’t prove him wrong. I felt like I had failed in defending my religion.
“I still wanted a way to counter the Christian guy’s arguments.”
After this experience, I spoke to a couple of ministers about what happened with this Christian guy. The first minister I talked to was Reverend Henry Adams back when he was the minister advisor for Southern Sr. YBA. He told me that he too has had personal experiences with Christians, and that it is totally fine to just walk away. He said that the next time someone tries to convert me, just immediately say you’re late to class and go on your way. I personally did not like the answer too much, as I was looking for some snappy or witty thing to say back to Christian guy, some way to prove that my way is right. To me, it seemed like an easy way out to just ignore people who try to convert me. I silently accepted his answer, but I still wanted a way to counter Christian guy’s arguments.
The second minister I talked to was Reverend Gene Sekiya. He’s a minister over in Japan that I met on the YBICSE trip, and he told me basically the same thing: that I should just avoid conversation with people like Christian guy. He had previously lectured about the differences between Western and Eastern religions. He had told us that Eastern religions are more collectivist and multi-path while Western religions are more individualistic and single path. However, he made it clear that while these two views are different, one is not better than the other. That’s one of the things I like about Buddhism, we don’t say that our way is the better way or the only way. This allows us to accept other people and recognize the fact that we are all different and thus take different paths religiously. I’ll come back to this point later, but it’s important to note that Buddhists do not think we’re “better” than other religions.
A third minister I talked to was Reverend Kiyo Kuwahara. He was a minister I also met while on the YBICSE trip. I basically told him what I had learned so far, and we talked a little bit about how Christians focus a lot on conversion when compared to other religions, like Judaism or Islam. However, it is not as if they do it out of malice or hate for other religions, a lot of Christianity is based on conversion. If you believe that people who follow other faiths will not go to heaven, why wouldn’t you want to convert them? So I can’t be really mad at Christian Guy for trying to convert me, in his eyes, he was trying to help me.
The last minister I talked to was reverend Kurt Rye. He was a former minister at my home temple and I was able to talk to him at the Young Leader’s Today Conference. I told him that I felt bad for ignoring people like Christian Guy since he was only trying to help me. But he told me that in Buddhism, we learn that there needs to be both Compassion and Wisdom. He told me that people like Christian Guy have all compassion, but no wisdom, so I shouldn’t feel bad for ignoring him. I could see what he meant since Christian Guy’s compassion was simply misguided. He was trying to “help” me without really seeing it from my perspective.
After all of this, I’ve come to realize that Reverend Henry Adams was right. The best way to deal with Christian converters is to just ignore them. All of the reasons that I had for wanting to confront Christian guy came from my own ego or from my own misunderstanding of Buddhism.
“Wanting to prove Buddhism “right” came from my own want to show superiority…It was my ego that compelled me to argue with him.”
First of all, I wanted to prove that Buddhism was right to Christian guy, but I don’t need to. As Reverend Sekiya said, Buddhists don’t believe that our way is better. I came to realize that wanting to prove Buddhism “right” came from my own want to show my superiority to the Christian guy. It was my ego that compelled me to argue with him.
Secondly, I had wanted to defend Buddhism, but there’s no reason I need to, especially to a complete stranger. Christian guy did not know anything about my life or me; how could he possibly know what is best for me? My friends and family accept that I’m a Buddhist, why should I want the consent of a complete stranger? If I’m honest with myself, my desire for defending Buddhism is again connected more to my ego, a need to have my way recognized by others.
“…he’s there to argue, not discuss”
Thirdly, any discussion with Christian Guy would lead to just debate and argument. In the end, he’s there to argue, not discuss. There really is not anything to be gained by talking to people like that. They just talk, and not really listen. We should talk about Buddhism whenever we can and show others the way of the Dharma, but people like that aren’t the type who listen. Anything that I would say would just be countered by something he’s prepared. Inevitability, conversations with people like Christian Guy will turn into proving someone is right and someone is wrong. However, Buddhists don’t say that different ways are wrong, so getting involved in an argument such as that is meaningless.
Finally, there’s no reason for me to feel angry about “losing” my argument with Christian guy. Like I said, I can’t be mad at him, he’s just trying to help me. In his view, he’s doing something really good. However, this doesn’t mean you or I have to listen to what he has to say. These people are complete strangers, and you don’t owe them anything, so you shouldn’t feel bad walking away and ignoring them, especially since you have nothing to gain from the conversation. Basically, recognize that people like Christian guy just want to help in their own way, but also realize that there’s nothing wrong with politely saying “no, I don’t have the time, sorry” and then walk away.
In the end, I learned that the best way to deal with people who try to convert me is to just walk away. Any desires that I had to continue talking to Christian Guy came from my own ego, a need to prove that I was right. It is a good thing to talk about Buddhism, but it should be to people that would listen and try to understand. Like I said, people like Christian guy are there to argue against Buddhism, not understand it. I know that a lot of us would prefer to tell off people like Christian Guy in some witty way, but I’ve come to see that this is connected to our Ego, something that we should try to avoid. So the next time someone tries to convert you, it is okay to just say, “Hey, I’m late for class, sorry” or “Sorry, I got to be somewhere.” It’s okay, and it is, I think, the most Buddhist thing to do. And if you’re in college, you won’t be late for class like I was. Thank you.
