My College Life: A Bad Buddhist Attendance Report
Toshi Steimetz | He/Him/His
University of California, Santa Barbara Class of 2021 | Economics Major, Writing Minor
Originally Published: May 11, 2020
About the Author
"Economics interests me because it is a subject that is applicable to real life decisions and provides knowledge that is useful in any career path."
"As corny as it sounds, I am simultaneously excited and terrified by the large amount of uncertainty in my current stage of life. I am quickly approaching the huge transition from being a student to being an independent adult and although it scares me I am excited to see what lies ahead."
I have always considered myself to be a very involved Buddhist, but as I enter my third year as a student at UC Santa Barbara, I am beginning to face the harsh reality of the growing distance between myself and Buddhism.
In high school, the programs and organizations put into place made involvement in the Buddhist community simple. I was highly involved in the Junior Young Buddhist Association, volunteered at the annual Bazaar, and attended the seemingly endless list of events at the Berkeley Buddhist Temple. Buddhism was tied to my social life and as a result it slowly became a part of my identity.
As I’ve come to learn during my years at UC Santa Barbara, the structures that previously allowed me to be deeply involved with Buddhism are no longer around to provide the support. The local Santa Barbara Buddhist Temple is small, has no resident minister, and holds services once a month at 11:00 AM on Saturdays. Like any college student, I highly value my few hours of sleep and am almost never able to attend these services.
A few weeks ago I was explaining to a friend that I had been feeling guilty about my lack of involvement in the Buddhist community. He replied with a very comforting “Well I guess it just means you’re a bad Buddhist.” Although this was terrible advice for a friend to give, it actually reminded me of an important aspect of Buddhism that I had forgotten.
In high school, a minister once asked me “What is Buddhism?” When he said this I could only mutter a cowardly “Uh, I don’t know”. To my surprise, he answered, “That’s exactly correct.” Buddhism, he explained, is different for every individual. Even he, after years of training and experience, could not tell me what Buddhism was, only I could discover it for myself. This raised a new question “What is Buddhism to me?” I am still unable to fully answer this, but I do know where it began- as a source of community.
I grew up at the Berkeley Buddhist Temple and it provided me with friendships and mentors that were a huge part of my childhood. As I’ve gotten older and more involved in the Buddhist community, Buddhism has become a proud part of my identity. Through, Jr. YBA, YAC, and just experiencing the ups and downs of life, I am slowly discovering what Buddhism is to me.
A few years ago, I had the pleasure of hearing my friend Alex Sakamoto give a Dharma talk at the Seattle Betsuin Buddhist Temple. During his talk, Alex explained that through his eyes Buddhism is fully embodied within a Starbucks holiday coffee cup. Alex was somehow able to connect the coffee cup’s design to the teachings of interdependence and compassion. In all
honesty, at the time, I found this to be completely absurd. I struggled to understand how my daily Starbucks latte connected to the teachings of the Buddha.
But this disagreement between Alex and I is the beauty of Buddhism. To Alex Buddhism is a Starbucks coffee cup, but to me Buddhism is something completely different.
Buddhism is a personal experience that is different for everyone. It is a journey through the teachings of the Buddha that each of us interact with in our own unique way.
When my friend gave me that terrible advice and called me a “Bad Buddhist”, it reminded me that there is no such thing as a good or a bad Buddhist. My attendance does not define me as “good” or “bad”, instead it simply reflects that my journey with Buddhism has changed, as it has in the past and as I am sure it will again in the future.
